My heart is breaking and where are you?

I went to Wal-Mart to buy all the things that could save me from my abandonment:

a neck-supporting pillow, so I could sleep deeply enough to not have dreams of you
vitamins, so I could become strong without you
stamps and envelopes, so that I could send Christmas cards to all your family reminding them not to forget me
eye drops, so I wouldn't look like a drug addict after crying about you in the car

Except I couldn't find the stamps and I almost began to cry. Everybody in the store looked so ugly to me in the harsh lights, but I knew I looked just as terrible. Every time a man looked at me, I felt like they could read my mind which made me want to crawl into a shelf.

All the things are still in a bag. I will start the recovery process tomorrow, so tonight I will just leave myself alone to wonder how you could just stop loving me.