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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Sometimes doctors are dumb.


I watched a documentary this afternoon called Food Matters. It focuses the role (or lack of role) of nutrition in the health care industry. Some of the information is common sense: our food is overprocessed and we consume a lot of weird shit that we probably shouldn't. But what's mind blowing to me is that doctors receive very little training in nutrition. Eating is the most important thing we do to keep our bodies functioning, and doctors rarely discuss nutrition with patients. From my experience, they rarely look for simple and obvious solutions to problems. Instead, they often go straight for the drugs because that's what they're trained to do and that's how they (and the drug companies) make money. When I first developed arm problems, I went straight to the orthopedic clinic. The doctor hardly asked me any questions before quickly prescribing an anti-inflammatory. For months I took this drug and felt more and more nauseated, until I could hardly keep food down. If I had used a little common sense, I would have realized that I wasn't going to heal by depriving my body of nutrients. When I went back to the orthopedic clinic, the doctor said, "Oh you're still in pain? I'll give you a cortisone shot." He quickly disappeared from the room and a nurse returned to dig around for the stuff they needed to inject me. "So... what's wrong with me? Is this tendonitis? Or carpal tunnel?" I asked. She continued to fish around the cabinet and said, "Uhm... .yeah something like that." Then they gave me the shot and I left. A few days later, I suddenly felt better and played for a few hours, but next day I was in pain again because I played too much. I wasn't feeling the pain that I should have been feeling.

I finally got help from people who actually took time to talk to me and ask questions, but I still can't believe that these doctors never stopped to ask me questions about the way I move when I play cello and how that may contribute to the problem. They never asked me about my lifestyle and diet. I'm not saying that modern medicine is a joke, but I've realized through this process that there are so many sides to health. I don't want to be preachy, but this is all I have to say: Before you drive to the pharmacy for whatever issue you're facing, take a step back and look at  what's causing the problem. Are you eating well? Exercising? Stressed out? Popping pills is easy, but it's important to take your health into your own hands. As much as you can anyway. Sometimes we need pills or surgery, but it shouldn't be the first thing we go for. We want to be able to trust the doctors in the white lab coats, but it's important to remember that they have their own agendas and they're probably thinking more about what they're eating for dinner than about your problems. If this sounds cynical, it's because so far, doctors have only prolonged my problems by giving me drugs rather than actually helping me solve them.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

this is what it feels like, I guess

I feel like my heart is breaking over and over again. I'm starting to forget how the cello feels cradled in my arms and all I want to do is rescue it from my locker and run away with it... going somewhere far away to lock myself in a room and play for days with nobody around to point out that I am not supposed to be playing because I have a mysterious injury. School is pretty much over, and I'm sitting in my room looking at the artifacts from my past life as a musician: sheet music, a practice mute, rosin....

I miss practicing in melrose with the window open and seeing faces turn in my direction as they wonder where all the noise is coming from. When I'm not making loud sounds, I feel like nobody hears me and nobody sees me. Not only am I not making money from gigs, I'm spending all my college money on physical therapy. When the radio station cruelly decides to play some beautiful cello concerto, I have to turn the station to something really boring and terrible. I have a lump in my throat that does not go away. Even though I know the universe is not out to get me, it's certainly not paying attention. This must be what unrequited love feels like.

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