a mysterious reward

I had a dream last night that I played in the jazz concert. I had sang and had lots of solos... and as it was happening, I saw myself on stage. An out of body experience, I guess you would call it. I had no control of what I was doing-- all I could do was watch it happen from out in the audience, but floating above the crowd as if I didn't even exist. The sounds were all muddled and everything was blurry. When the performance was over, everybody came up to me and told me how amazing it was, which I had a hard time believing. Somebody gave me a reward.. or what I thought was an award, but it looked like a pile of mail.

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Why does everything have to affect me? Every word spoken to me, every dream, every glance, every touch... Why does everything have to shake my world and fill me with joy or doubt?

I need to stop analyzing and interpreting everything... searching for hidden meanings and emotional  nuances.

The end (officially the end of this thought)